Sunday, November 27, 2016

Only 36 days left to waste my time in 2016.

Friday, November 25, 2016

One thing I learned about employee Black Friday parking : none of y'all can park your big ass cars.

People : "do you work here??"

Me : "no"

More people : "do you work here????"

Me : "no"

More people : "NO YOU DO WORK HERE!!"

Me : LITERALLY NO -running, sobbing-


Sunday, November 20, 2016

If Samsung really wants to apologize they should partner with T Mobile and do Sidekick 2016. #makemyspacecoolagain

Saturday, November 19, 2016

My mom's Christmas tree this year.

I'm telling y'all, she doesn't play.

learning unix has been so much fun

Friday, November 18, 2016


Available NOW

Thursday, November 10, 2016


Download me for free on iBooks! Bring on the smiles! Macy Pig : Palm Beach Pig is available now! ❤️

I spent all day cleaning the house from top to bottom. It's perfect. It looks great. Just as I sit down to enjoy some mindless Tv and gaming the fucking internet goes out. It's been hours. 

Fuck this shit! I should have called into work. "hi my internet is broken, it's been hours - I'm coming in. I have no life outside of this. Please. I know like 9 people must have called out. LET ME COME TO WORK"

Tuesday, November 8, 2016

Join us for a very special day TOMORROW! Macy Pig's brand new, exciting adventure is coming to iBooks. Be on the look out for Macy Pig : Palm Beach Pig for FREE DOWNLOAD tomorrow. Weep weep! 😻

Monday, November 7, 2016

Can somebody call Hilary and tell her to have her people LEAVE ME ALONE 😭 omfg

Peppa Pig

Friday, November 4, 2016


Thursday, November 3, 2016

The new and improved 2016 Lolly model has 30% more passive aggressive internal rage than the previous generation. 🚫

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

If one more person calls me and tells me to vote I'm going to freak out. I get that you're trying to do your job but 10 phone calls and 6 text messages is just crazy as fuck. Y'all about to make me change my damn vote.