Saturday, August 29, 2015

 All of the pieces came together

They just fit
I didn’t have to reshape them
Cut them
Glue them
They fell together as if they belonged
And I gazed down at the most beautiful picture
A puzzle has ever been printed on
Sunday, August 23, 2015

 Her eyes stared gracefully down at me.

Her picture is hung so high.
I glanced up from my phone and we made eye contact.
She knew.
I knew.
He knew.
I hit send on the last message I will ever send.

Thursday, August 20, 2015

 Maybe this was all a big mistake.

Maybe I’m jumping in too soon.
Maybe I’m not ready for this.
Maybe I’m getting played.

This is your fault. You made me this way. You built me to never trust a soul. All of you did this. You saw something beautiful and you kicked it down until it couldn’t fucking handle itself anymore. Are you happy? Are you all fucking happy? You’re not even here but I can hear all of your shitty little voices telling me how much I suck and how ugly I am.

I can’t pull another human being into this.
Wednesday, August 19, 2015

 I know a lot of people are going to judge my recent decisions and they don’t know they truth about what was even going on in my life.

I gave someone my heart who completely took advantage of me. I truly cared about someone and they threw it all away for literally no reason. I’ve been unhappy for at least six months. It’s been a year since he cheated on me with three other girls and I tried my best to look beyond that and give the benefit of the doubt because it felt like we had this incredible friendship. I figured he was just young and scared. No, he was selfish.

For the first time in a year someone came along and made me feel like I was beautiful. He laughs at my jokes, plays games with me, calls me on the phone, sends me stupid apple watch heartbeats, we sing in the car, he asks me how my pigs are. He’s interested in learning all about me. He’s my best friend. I think about him all the time. My stupid face hurts from smiling.

So, please, judge me.

PSA- if you’re a girl and your boyfriend cheats on you… So many guys are out there. Go get an upgrade. Don’t waste your damn time. He’s already moved on, it’s your turn.
Monday, August 17, 2015

 I keep reaching out to you, trying to be your friend. I keep asking you to hang out and you don’t even have the decency to text me back. You were crying saying you wanted to be my friend and hang out that night and I really took it to heart.

I guess you didn’t mean it.

You only text me when it’s a good time for you.

You’re just a crappy friend. I’m mad about it, I guess.
Tuesday, August 4, 2015

 It’s been like a day and you’ve added 9 new girls on Facebook.

You’re a dog.
You’re such fucking garbage.
Monday, August 3, 2015

 I came home last night and my dad had cleaned my room.

He said he didn’t want me to have to do it because he didn’t want me to cry organizing TJs things.

I looked over and my Paddington Bear was sitting on the bed.

I don’t think I will ever forget it.