Friday, December 27, 2013


Wednesday, December 25, 2013


Tuesday, December 24, 2013


Monday, December 23, 2013


Friday, December 20, 2013

I'm in so much pain.
I should have went to the hospital.

Sunday, December 15, 2013

So I bought a new car and I signed a lease for my apartment. Now all I have to do is afford all of this new shit. Jeesh.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013

It’s been awhile since I’ve felt this hurt.
This is a horrible feeling.

Wednesday, December 4, 2013

Sitting alone in our beautiful, empty store.

I’m going to miss this place. I have amazing memories here. I can’t believe how many nights I’ve spent here helping make it look so beautiful.

It’s such a small space but so many great learning experiences were made here.

It’s actually really sad that I’m not going to be spending my career here.

Tuesday, December 3, 2013

I seriously hate my life.

My bank is trying to charge me some crazy overdraft fee that’s not even possible because I had quite a bit of money in the bank so it didn’t make any sense at all.

I hate that I have to call this bank every six months because they’re constantly fucking up with my money.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

All my friends tell me they’re staying in tonight and all that crap, but they lied. They’re really out with my exboyfriend.

I mean, you might as well just tell me that’s where you’re going instead of lying to my face and telling me you’re going to stay home.

Less than a month until New Jersey.

I’ve never experienced something as crazy as walking into a bar semi drunk and sitting across from someone only a few months ago I would have given up everything for. We didn’t make eye contact and we didn’t even say hello to each other. We just happened to be sitting at the same exact table. I just keep telling myself I didn’t do anything wrong. I didn’t.

I wasn’t the cheater, I wasn’t the one talking to anyone behind his back, I wasn’t the one who said I wanted a homely life and then backed up on that. I wasn’t the one who went around talking shit to his friends. I wasn’t the one who made fun of his situations. I was the one cooking dinner that night, I changed. I did everything I was asked and I got nothing out of it.

Now I get to sit across from him at a bar that he said he hated so many times. I can’t count the amount of times I had to hear about how much he hated that bar, but there he was. The amount of nope that filled the room could have strangled me. Not enough Jameson in the world could have cured that moment. Believe me, I tried.

Someone who said they’d always be there for you now dodges anything pertaining to you. He doesn’t even know I’m leaving. He has no idea. It’s just crazy to think about it because his excuse for leaving me was /I have to move and I know you could never or would never move./ But I’m the one who’s moving. Ironic.

I really think that he doesn’t know what he wants or who he really is. He bounces around on opinions and if you ask him what he wants in life he won’t give you the same answer twice. I really hope that he figures out what he wants because at the end of the day he has a really nice life that he takes for granted. I sometimes question if he truly knows how to be happy.

It’s not my business anymore, but I hope he finds it. In a way I’m sorry I couldn’t provide what he wanted because I tried harder to please him than I have anyone else. I won’t take it as a complete failure, but I still question why.

Honestly, losing him was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I experienced what it’s really like to be 22 and single. It was a beautiful thing and I’ve learned more about myself in the past couple of months than I have in years.

November 30th 2013

Saturday, November 30, 2013

 So Drew puts his shit on the line for Bianca a million god damn times and she goes to school for three months and forgets how important she is to him and his family?

Because she wants to impress her friends?

Started from the boiler room now we here.

With my ladies @ cabo flats

Friday, November 29, 2013


@ the snug

Thursday, November 28, 2013


 Happy thanksgiving to my amazing apple (and extended) family! 

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

 Celebrating Dranksiving

November 26th 2013

Tuesday, November 26, 2013
So I haven't used this blog in years, literally, but I'd like to go ahead and start using it again even though LJ is pretty much a ghost town. As of right now I've yet to find an actual blog site. I love tumblr and I use it frequently, but it's not really a blog place.


Monday, November 25, 2013


RIP Brian Griffin, you were a great dog / frank Sinatra impersonator. 💔 #FamilyGuy

Caught the 127 FLU. Thanks GUYS. D:<

Alex's Birthday

Sunday, November 24, 2013




Friday, November 22, 2013

You know it was a fab night when you stumble ass first through the front door of your house. Great night with the 127 skanks. AYYY

Thursday, November 21, 2013


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

You try to do something super nice for somebody and they call you and your company a bunch of assholes. What.

Our store looks absolutely beautiful.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

wow! its a beautiful day to put the top down... too bad mines broken. holler back at me first world problems man

Super proud of Kyle Knight ! He's about to have the best first day of work ever! 😎

Saturday, November 16, 2013

 Not a soul lives in unit number four and all the flowers from the purple tree are dead on the ground.  Life sure is funny sometimes.

Friday, November 15, 2013

Why do I feel like if I don't get PS4 I'm going to die?

Sunday, November 10, 2013


There's never food at my fucking house.

Saturday, November 9, 2013

There's a frog in my friggin room right now. I hate those little moochers!

Friday, November 8, 2013

Oh good lord I need to stop buying phones.

If anyone's looking for a T-Mobile iPhone 5 16GB Black, I have one for sale. I'm looking for $400.

Mark is working on my car (again!) He does such a great job, check it Rick's journey while he gets repainted!

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

I feel like I was supposed to remember this day, or something. ;)

Monday, November 4, 2013

I hope everyone in our extended Apple family at Garden State Plaza makes it out okay tonight, 100 employees are inside the Paramus mall with a gunman inside.

It's been two years since Carly Rae Jepson sang "Call Me Maybe." I wonder if anyone has called her yet? 😛

Sunday, November 3, 2013

It's a Whisper War kind of morning.

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Happy Birthday to the littlest bundle of doggie joy, Darwin Amadeus.

Juno Pier

Thursday, October 24, 2013


Wednesday, October 23, 2013


Cabo Flats

Tuesday, October 22, 2013


iPad Air! Shut up and take my money!

Monday, October 21, 2013


Sunday, October 20, 2013


Panama Hatties Rum Bar

Saturday, October 19, 2013


Amy & I

Friday, October 18, 2013


Thursday, October 17, 2013


Wednesday, October 16, 2013


Tuesday, October 15, 2013


Tapas after work.

Sunday, October 13, 2013


Welcome Back, Gustavo.


Saturday, October 12, 2013


World of Beer


October 11th 2013

Friday, October 11, 2013
She doesn't even want to be my friend.


Juno Pier

Thursday, October 10, 2013


October 9th 2013

Wednesday, October 9, 2013
It's so crazy, they placed a value on my life when my settlement finally happened and I'm worth less to State Farm than a Volkswagen beetle.

Just think about that.

Damn girl.

Yard House


Kabuki Sushi


October 8th 2013

Tuesday, October 8, 2013
You know, they always tell me not to get my hopes up. To not get so excited about things. I always fall into that trap.

But you know what? I like that. If I was always so guarded and aware I would never have the experiences I have had.

My best memories are ones that are just me being excited. I love feeling excited and happy.

I don't know.

I had a really nice time meeting this person and meeting his friends and him meeting my friends. I hadn't laughed so hard with anyone in awhile. I needed this, even if it was just a little taste. It just makes me realize that I am completely capable of falling for someone again. That excitement isn't gone, it's completely possible.

It's going to happen for me again and I'm ready for it.


Monday, October 7, 2013


October 3rd 2013

Thursday, October 3, 2013
If I could walk out of here, I would.
You're lucky I love everyone up in this place.

October 2nd 2013

Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Today I drove down to Wellington to speak with Leo.

I really enjoyed spending time over there since I've never really set foot in their store before. Not many people were in the store so I got to spend a lot of time wondering around. It was strange to be in an environment that I know so well and I DONT know anyone there.

I got back to Gardens and the store was twice as packed. Gardens is my home, I love gardens. I just wish they noticed me. 

I wish they appreciated me. They don't.

October 1st 2013

Tuesday, October 1, 2013
So, I went on a blind date annnnd he looked like Nev from Catfish -
Annnnnnnnnd that's completely okay with me.

September 30th 2013

Monday, September 30, 2013
I guess I should be angry and upset learning about what you've been up to, what you've been saying about me. I guess that means I'm completely over it.

The day has finally come and it didn't take me as long as I thought it would.

Maybe that's because I'm completely distracted. I'm no longer interested and I think I could go everyday without ever seeing you again. If I see you, I don't think I'll even feel bad. Maybe if we bump into each other or accidentally touch I'll feel a little spring of sadness, but that'll eventually fade too.

It's actually quite depressing because I truly believed I'd always have eyes for you. The truth is, I don't anymore. I don't think I ever will again. Sometimes I wonder how I even did in the first place.

September 29th 2013

Sunday, September 29, 2013
The Hollywood ending it never came easy.
The bride to be can plainly see,
now she says she's ready to kill me.
And I'm so afraid
I can't believe I've fallen for you.

September 28th 2013

Saturday, September 28, 2013
I looked up at you and we both laughed.
hi :)

September 26th 2013

Thursday, September 26, 2013
Fucking hate you.
Fucking hate you.
Fucking hate you.
Fucking hate you.
Fucking hate you.

September 24th 2013

Tuesday, September 24, 2013
I know I should completely back out.
No, tho.

September 23rd 2013

Monday, September 23, 2013
Hands off my phone.

September 15th 2013

Sunday, September 15, 2013
To top it off, I didn't get the townhouse.

September 14th 2013

Saturday, September 14, 2013
I didn't get the FT spot I wanted so badly at work.

I can't even explain how much I hate my life at this point.
I don't know how I'm going to get out of bed tomorrow.
I don't know how I'm going to walk back into work in 45 mins.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know how it could get worse.
I don't think I can handle all this rejection.

The things I love the most do not love me back.
Am I unloveable?

What is it about me that always gets held back?
I got my heart stomped on twice in one week.
Just stomped on.

I'm just sitting in my car trying so hard not to just completely fall into little tiny pieces.

I don't think I've ever felt my heart hurt so much.

September 13th 2013

Friday, September 13, 2013
I remember my first week of college, I had to wear my back brace so that was embarrassing. Then I got this weird like throat problem and my voice sounded like a 50 year old smoker and then my throat got infected because I had to keep talking for classes. So it got worse and worse and worse.

I hate school.

September 12th 2013

Thursday, September 12, 2013
I absolutely can not wait to feel happy again.
I'm going to strive to feel as amazing as possible and I don't even fucking care how.

September 11th 2013

Wednesday, September 11, 2013
I should have just gone home after work but something was making me stay out. I drove by the townhouse I'm trying to buy and whispered a thousand times asking for a good thing to come into my life. Bring me some sort of something to get excited for. Give me a sign that everything is going to smooth out and that no matter if I'm alone or with someone I'll always be excited. Give me a dream to hang onto. Please.

I sat in my car staring at that purple bush outside the screened in patio just hoping for something, anything. 

Give me something to live for.

Give me something to wake up every morning and smile about.


September 9th 2013

Monday, September 9, 2013
My sinuses hurt so much from crying I can't even sleep.

I shouldn't even be crying because I know it was the right thing to do. I knew it was coming to and end and so did he.

I just didn't even imagine it happening today. I had a long day at work, but I made a lovely dinner and bought fancy wine. We got into talking about computers and cars and somehow it erupted into this huge fight. I know the fight didn't have to do with cars or computers, it stemmed from something worse inside of us both.

We yelled at each other for awhile and then I cleaned the kitchen. As I cleaned it he started to help. We spoke a little bit more and I sunk down onto the floor and leaned against the cabinets.

That's when the truth finally came out, he hates his job and he wants to try to go somewhere else. Somewhere far away. I have commitments where I live and I do not plan on switching stores or moving anytime soon. In fact, I'm trying to purchase a home.

I sat quietly on the floor biting my nails down to the bitter end and that's when I realized - he's right. Our lives are going into different directions and within the next few moments my heart burst into a million tiny pieces.

We got off the floor and we sat on the couch only to speak about the same issue - leaving. He said that he didn't want to pull me into it and he didn't think his current job would have ended up this way.

I understand completely and I tried my best to be strong and hold in all the hurt and pain I was experiencing in the moment. I rose from the arm of the couch and gathered my belongings.

I turned and told him that he was right and tried to reassure myself we were doing the right thing. I took one last glance around the condo I sometimes accidentally called "home" and had just a mere hour before cooked a fabulous love filled meal - wine bottle still cracked on the table. A romantic dinner gone wrong, a small attempt at being sexy gone awry.

I turned the handle on the door and told him "I guess I'll see you at work, then." I glanced quickly at the TV, football blaring in the background, and mumbled "enjoy your sports."

He walked over and told me not to say that, I ran my hand along his cheek and walked out the door.

It was over.

September 5th 2013

So when I was a kid my parents used to take me down to the Santa Cruz boardwalk, I didn't have any friends so I used to ride all the rides by myself. I worked all the time as a kid and never really had much of a social life.

My favorite was the Tsunami ride and I used to get on that one and pretend I had a friend with me. So you would just see this little girl just talking to fucking nobody and that was kind of great because I didn't really want anyone I didn't know to come sit next to me on the ride.

Anyway, I'm pretty sure this is what lead up to my foul mouth, fast cars, and undying love for Pizza Hut.

 After all, tomorrow is another day.

Tuesday, August 27, 2013


August 26th 2013

Monday, August 26, 2013
So I bet tonight Robin Thicke really thought it was finally going to be his VMAs. He has a huge hit song and a really crazy act. He was gonna really show the world his shit this year.

So I bet One Direction really thought tonight was going to be their night, considering the craze and so many fans they have. I bet they were thrilled because they knew everyone was watching them for reactions after Swifty did a not so swift speech.

But then…

Justin Timberlake happened and yet again reminded us that Robin is a cheap knock off who has to hump things to stay relevant.

Nsync popped up from the floor and showed One Direction that even in their old age they could still do the damn dances and to go the fuck back to England.

August 25th 2013

Sunday, August 25, 2013
I've been really trying hard for this to work. I really have.
I don't understand why it's not falling into place.
Maybe I'm forcing it.

August 24th 2013

Saturday, August 24, 2013
Close your eyes so tightly,
It's like their sewn together.
Even the slightest flutter
Could ruin you forever

August 16th 2013

Friday, August 16, 2013
I'm just sitting in the mall enjoying myself and this guy sits right near me and is on the phone with Verizon just going off about how his voicemail doesn't work.

So I'm sitting here like … My whole life is tech support, I'm in my uniform, are you trying to get me to help you?

Why are you doing this in the mall? Shouldn't you be home or like at the Verizon store?

August 15th 2013

Thursday, August 15, 2013
Okay, so earlier today I went to work at 9 and worked a long, grueling day. I was on the way home and I was told not to buy food, just come home. I did and my mom was making pancakes for dinner.

I can't really eat pancakes, I've gotten sick almost every time I've had pancakes, but there she was making pancakes.

It was the icing on my cake for the day, basically.
So I tweeted about it.
Of course I get the "25k people die a day due to hunger"
…… figures

August 13th 2013

Tuesday, August 13, 2013
We fight a lot :(

August 10th 2013

Saturday, August 10, 2013
Emily is such a bitch.
Paige throws this huge party for her birthday and she is all butt hurt because she already she she wasn't going to swim.

August 9th 2013

Friday, August 9, 2013
Talk about a downgrade, Aria - shit.

August 8th 2013

Thursday, August 8, 2013
I can't believe it's been almost seven years. I don't know, I hope you feel horrible for what you said about kicked me when I was down and then told countless lies to people about me. I was so young and you were too, but good god the things you said wrecked my social life.
You sit there staring forward like if you stare hard enough maybe we won't be in the same store together anymore.

It's really sad because it's hard for me to even think back to when we actually spoke, or were friends or even like liked each other. I mean at one strange point we cared about each other. It's just the weirdest thing to be in a room with someone who hates you as much as we hate each other.

We will never be friends. We will never speak. Ever. But somewhere back in time we loved each other and I guess that counts for something.
I feel bad because at first I really blamed myself for the things and really let it take a toll on me, but I didn't deserve that. I was good to you and asked for nothing in return. You turned around and cheated, then so embarrassed of your actions you turned tables on me and went after my reputation.

The more you sit staring blankly forward the more I realized you're embarrassed for doing what you did to me, but it'll be too hard to say it.

That's why we will never be friends and you can keep blankly staring ahead.


Wednesday, August 7, 2013


Tuesday, August 6, 2013


August 5th 2013

Monday, August 5, 2013
Have to be at work at 8:45 tomorrow, ugh!

These early shifts are totally killing me. 

Anyway, I've got my Nike+ Fuelband finally charging. I was able to locate the charger and that doesn't always happen. I also imported all of the date and times for activities at the gym.

I guess my current goal is to really work on my fitness, but still eat the stuff I'd like to eat. I have a nice calorie counter on my phone, so I'm going to use that to track my nasty habits!

I really need to get back into it so tomorrow after work I'll review the classes and go ahead and do at least one.


Sunday, August 4, 2013


Saturday, August 3, 2013


August 2nd 2013

Friday, August 2, 2013
Back in 2005 I went looking to start vocal lessons after my chorus teacher told me I might have an ear problem. 

I went to Atlantic Arts in Jupiter and tried out in front of one of the coaches. I was then told that I would never be able to sing on pitch or key. I left that place feeling horrible about myself and quite embarrassed that I had ever tried.

After a few weeks my mom told me to get back on the horse. We found another vocal coach willing to work with me and I went every week for an hour.

In 2008 I began recording my first album. In 2009 I had done over 10 shows in my area.

Today Atlantic arts went bankrupt. 
It sucks to stomp on dreams, doesn't it? ;)

July 31st 2013

Wednesday, July 31, 2013
It's shocking how things never work out for me. I always do really well and then it declines quickly.

I don't know how I'm gonna handle it.

July 30th 2013

Tuesday, July 30, 2013
I am so upset.

July 25th 2013

Thursday, July 25, 2013
How many times can you go to motherfuckin disney world?
These people go like every other week.
what the fuck
Monday, July 22, 2013


Sunday, July 21, 2013


Saturday, July 20, 2013


July 18th 2013

Thursday, July 18, 2013
Someone on myspace if I've ever "did sex before."
What the fuck.
"Hi, how are you? Have you did sex before?"
….. you serious rn?

Hyatt Resort Orlando

Sunday, July 7, 2013


Disney World


Orlando Stars

Saturday, July 6, 2013


June 25th 2013

Tuesday, June 25, 2013
I seriously just ordered a whole Juicy Couture track suit with Monogramming for only $65. That's so insane, I remember paying $200 for the top & pants without monogram back in the day.

Got to love sales & cupons!

June 22nd 2013

Saturday, June 22, 2013
We fight like every day now.

June 21st 2013

Friday, June 21, 2013
I went to spin class today, so happy. It was an hour long and I've really gotten into it. This was my second time.

For lunch I had a JB Roll & California Roll. Paired with water and a few pieces of edaname. I've been eating mostly sushi for the past couple of days.

I fell off the wagon and got a frap. I was so bad because it was Venti.
I haven't touched pizza or burgers in weeks and I can't remember the last time I've had either. I need to keep up my gym schedule because I've fallen quite a bit behind. I've been working a lot and haven't had time to really make sure my gym bag is packed and ready before I take off for work. 

I promise this weekend will be different and I will keep towards my diet and fitness rituals.

June 16th 2013

Sunday, June 16, 2013
Nobody cares about me.
Friday, June 14, 2013


Thursday, June 13, 2013


June 11th 2013

Tuesday, June 11, 2013
I feel so alone...

June 10th 2013

Monday, June 10, 2013
So I've finally caught up to degrassi, I guess I'll have to start another show for awhile while I wait for new episodes.

I'm downloading Skins season 1-4.

I'm totally stoked about the return of pretty little liars.

Anyone have any other recomendations?

June 7th 2013

Friday, June 7, 2013
I really want sims university.

June 4th 2013

Tuesday, June 4, 2013
What the hell kind of final episode was that.
Monday, June 3, 2013

 Dear the writers of The Secret Life of the American Teenager,

This is for you.
Give my 5 years worth of mondays back.

May 26th 2013

Sunday, May 26, 2013
Alrighty, so.

I went ahead and got a domain name for my blog. I think this is really cool. I used to have a domain name for years, but I stopped using it. I think now that I have my own blog it'll be a lot more useful. 

The theme is just temporary, so bare with me. Tomorrow I'll code my own, I promise.

May 23rd 2013

Thursday, May 23, 2013
Today I arrived at the gym around 9:20PM.

Cardio Bike : 150 Cals
Treadmill : 350 Cals

Left the gym around 10:50PM.

Overall day reached above my Nike fuel goal : 2254!

April 24th 2013

Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Downloaded most of Season 11 Degrassi to my iPad so I can enjoy it at the gym.


Another Day at Work

Tuesday, April 23, 2013