February 27th 2007

Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Nothing really cool has gone on. Mostly FCAT, and that's nothing fun to talk about.
So..
Here's a myspace survey.

Let's see if you can get through it.
If not, you're too scared about your past.

Your name:
Lolly.

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Yes =]

How many girlfriends/ boyfriends have told you they love you?
Two of Two.

Do you like somebody?
No.

Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurt?
Yeah.

Have you ever made a boyfriend or girlfriend cry?
One.

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
Relationship, because I feel wanted.

Have you ever told someone you loved them and didn't mean it?
I can't say it if I don't mean it.

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Oh tons.

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
I hope I haven't.

If you could go back in time and change things, would you?
Sure.

Do you believe that you are a good boyfriend or girlfriend?
I hope I am. I really try. I mean, I now Im not the best, but I hardly know how to be one.

Have you dated people who were not good to you?
One.

Have you been in an abusive relationship?
Kind of.

Have you dated someone older than you?
I have.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Not if they make me cry.

Ever been given an engagement ring?
Yes.

Do you want to get married?
I kind of do.

Has anyone ever told you they wanted to marry you?
Yeah.

Does heartbreak really feel as bad as it sounds?
It hurts.

Would you believe your ex if she/he said they love you?
Maybe.

Would you date your best male/female friend?
I kinda am right now.

Have any of your ex's called you by a nickname after the break up?
Ehhh Lollykins. ahaha.

If your best friend of the opposite sex went out with someone you knew was wrong for them would you speak on it?
Yes.

Do you regret any of your relationships?
Yes.

February 25th 2007

Sunday, February 25, 2007
On Friday night I went to the Movies with Drew, Brandon, and Kenzie. We went to Mc Donnalds for Dinner.. Then we walked to the beach. I'm going to skip the whole beach story, but it's a lot like the bowling alley story.

Then Saturday I went to the mall with my Mom & Dad, and we ate at CPK. Then I saw a cute new Coach purse, but I didn't buy it. Then Saturday night I went with Drew & Brandon to see "Norbit". That movie was awful! I wouldn't want to see that EVER again.

& Today I really didn't do anything.

February 22nd 2007

Thursday, February 22, 2007
Breaking Free
Liars, Cheaters, Everywhere.
Give them my heart, but they don't care.
Call them ugly, call them stupid, call them fat
And after all that, I've learned how to cope.
Just some extra drama piled onto life, and I just can't take it, anymore.

Well, call me crazy, call me bitter, I don't really care, call me whatever.

Cause I'm breakin' free, leaving this place
I'm Breakin' Free,
Running from the best
You can't stop me,
Cause I'm not listing.
Not looking for attention, just a door that I can run through.

This box, it's held me long enough, and I..
I'm done with the bluffs, who needs friends that lie?
Sure we were close, but it's hard to grasp,
If only I could reach the door, and open the latch..

Cause I'm breakin' free, leaving this place
Breakin' Free,
Running from the best
Cause You can't stop me,
I'm not listing.
Not looking for attention, just a door that I can run through.
Cause, I, I, I, I, I'm breaking, I, I, I, I, I'm breaking..
Cause I'm breakin' free, Breakin' freee.

Don't blame yourself, you're not good enough to kill me,

Cause, I, I, I, I, I'm breaking, I, I, I, I, I'm breaking..
Cause I'm breakin' free, Breakin' freee.

Cause I'm breaking free, leavin' this old place, you'll see
Don't try to stop me,
I'm not gonna listen, Im actually not intrested,
Just show me too the door..
'Cause I'm breaking free.

February 17th 2007

Saturday, February 17, 2007
Baby we used to be close, then one day it broke.
Up and left me like I was nothing.
So used to being hurt, and always cryin'
But one day I got up and just stopped tryin'


So I took all the love letters, wrote down "Please return to sender".
I don't want those anymore.
I'm doing so much better,
so keep your feelings to your self,
for my own god damn health.
Oh baby,
Please
Mr.Post man, take them away.

February 15 2007

Thursday, February 15, 2007
I hate it when people steal my ideas. Do you really have any right to take an idea?
I mean, I've had the same ideas many many times, and when I express them to someone, they take the idea and claim it as theirs!
No right! No right AT ALL.
Backstabber.


& I hurt my elbow today on the bus. It hurts.

February 14th 2007

Wednesday, February 14, 2007
My voice teacher has downgraded me.

I was ment to do a song called "The Prayer", by Charlotte Church.
Well, He didn't really help me learn it, or try to help me with the
Italian, it was these words i didnt know, and I needed him to help.
But he changed the song :(

Now I have to sing a dumb song that everyone else sings. F--k.
Norah Jones?

No. I don't have a LOW voice. I have a HIGH voice. So I'm going
to struggle with the song. Sound like and idiot. And most people
sing the god damn thing anyways.

I never even liked f--king Norah Jones. So now I'm upset. I went
from being the best singer in his teachings, to Norah Jones.
Norah -I have boogers up my nose and can't sing very well- Jones.

Great.

Anyways, back to the Valentines shit. Last night I stayed up untill 11pm talking with Brandon on the phone. It was actually pretty nice. So I filled out all of my Valentines, and made a huge cake, and it fell on the floor... ANYWAYS.

So Andrew P called me, and he told me about what he was going to do for Mackenzie, and he needed some help getting times & stuff for when she's going to be home & crap like that. So I helped him with that.
Then I went to sleep, and then I had to get up at that AWFUL hour!

So I woke up and got ready boring boring boring boringgg.

Okay, so then I got to school and Drew came and gave me a Balloon & a Pretty flower! That was so nice of him. Then I gave him his Cupcakes, and then the bell rang. So in first hour I had a test :(
Then 2nd hour came, and Drew, Brandon, Alexis, & I talked for awhile, then Brandon went to play basket ball.
Then the bell rang for thhaaat.

Then uhm hmm.

Then Coach Andersen told the whole class that he saw me & drew together in the hall, and that we made a cute couple. I wanted to slap his white-man face. Then the whole class "AWWWW"ed. Jesus christ. Have you ever seen PEOPLE before?

Why the fuck does everyone "AWWW"? Grow the fuck up.

Then at lunch I gave Drew his BIG present. It was a Louis Vuitton cream leather thing that goes around your wrist. It wasn't his size, and I felt so dumb. But he took it anyways. Afterschool he told me that people in his 6th hour thought it looked gay.
....great. $150 or so down the toilet.

Then I got to the Bus after school, and it came a little later! Yay! I didn't like it being early because I couldn't be with Drew as much. But yeah. Anyways, so I was on the bus, and the bus driver popped my balloon. :( So that was that!

Then I went home and talked to Kenzie on the phone, and Andrew P on AIM, and Brandon too. But Brandon had to go to some school shit, so no 4 hour convos tonight!

And then I had to go to Voice lessons, and that brings us right back to our first comments on this post.
If you forgot what they were, it involved me shoving a tampon up my nose to get that ugly Norah Jones sound.

Nighty night

February 10th 2007

Saturday, February 10, 2007
First off, I got to drive ALL THE WAY to the movies this time!

Well last night we went to the movies, and Chinese food. I got there a little early, and I went into Bealls or whatever, and I was looking at some REALLY ugly clothes, and I was on the phone with Wallace at the same time, and we kept talking about doing hair, and really ugly clothes. Then my phone beeped, and I got a text about how Drew was at the Chinese place. So I went over there, and I met up with him.
So then we sat down, and then Brandon got there, and then Kenzie got there. So we ordered. I had Sweet and Sour chicken, and it was a full dinner, so that was awesome. Everyone was being a total big, and I don't like that because I've always been so proper! But after awhile I began acting like a REALLY big pig! It was almost gross! I kept talking with my mouth full, and I was eating rice with no fork... Gross.
Anyways, after that we walked down to the movies, it was almost 8, and we got tickets to "Dreamgirls", and then we went into that "Hanabal Rising" movie. We watched it for an hour, that is, before I passed out. Something in the movie was bothering me? I'm not sure what caused it. All I know is that I woke up, and my head was on Drew's shoulder, and then I got up, and I started to run out of the theater. Kenzie followed me, and saw me fall down in the hallway. After awhile I was just fine.

So we left the movie, and I started feeling back to normal, and so we all sat down in the grass and started laughing and talking and stuff. It was WAY to much fun! We should have just done that all night! Sadly, my mom came, and I had to leave.

February 8th 2007

Thursday, February 8, 2007
Anna Nicole Smith has died, this according to her attorney Ron Rale. She was 39.

Desperate attempts to save her life were made by paramedics en route to Memorial Regional Hospital. Smith did not survive, despite receiving CPR and emergency intubation to facilitate her breathing.

Smith collapsed at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino in Hollywood, Florida and died hours later.

Anna had been transported to Memorial Regional Hospital in Hollywood just after 2:00 PM EST and died around 3:45 PM EST.

A Broward County Medical Examiner has been dispatched to the hospital to retrieve the body of Anna Nicole Smith.

February 6th 2007

Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Today I had to take the FCAT. My Prompt for writing was "What are good Work Habits". To tell you the truth, I'm really bad at work, so I really don't have any good habits. Infact, someone should have been telling me some good work advice! But I worked really hard, and I think I did really well.

Drew accidently broke his phone! So now he doesnt have one! Meaning no more text messages. I hope he can get another one. Im going to miss the stupid little texts I get.

After that I got to go to Coach's class, and we didn't really do anything in there, so it was off to lunch! At lunch I sat with my normal crew, and we talked and crap. And then I went and finished school.

After school Drew waited for the bus with me, and we had fun talking to everyone. =) Then my bus came, and that was it.

He had to do something after school, for one of his classes, so he got to stay until the bus came! That was really nice.

February 5th 2007

Monday, February 5, 2007
Well, today my dad and I went to the Jeep Dealer in Staurt, and we looked at Grand Cherrokee or whatever, and it was so ugly. I was so upset he was looking at it. But he's not going to buy it, thank god.
Then we went to Tj Maxx and they didn't have ANYTHING. It was just a bunch of junk. I think my mom got a shirt.

Drew & I were going to go bowling tonight, but who knows what happened to that idea..
Oh well. To late now.

Night!

February 4th 2007

Sunday, February 4, 2007
First off, this morning I brought in cupcakes because I heard Drew had gotten hurt. I made the cupcakes myself. I worked hard on them.
Today in second hour, Britney came up to me to appoligise for all the things she did, and I went along with it. It's better to have more friends, but I was pretty wrong..

At lunch Britney came up and was talking to me, Drew was sitting to my right, and my other guy friend, Birdman, was sitting on my left. When Britney Left, Drew leaned over me to tell Birdman that Britney was hot. My jaw dropped.

How could he even do that? I slapped him in the face, and he didn't get the point. I was so upset that I let go of his hand, and walked off. By then the bell hand rang, and he was running behind me to catch up. He did, and he said he was sorry -- But he didn't really act like he ment it. So I went to his locker with him, thinking I'd be alright, but I really wasn't. I was trying so hard not to cry. So I walked to my class, seriously trying not to cry, and he goes "Don't be mad", and he didn't sound like he ment it at all! So I told him that I was going to cry, and walked into the class.

Thank god that teacher makes us do work, because I needed to keep my mind off of it. But I couldn't do it. I started to cry. I was really quiet about it, because I hate people seeing that. But I did. Then he sent me texts like "No, I love you!" and shit.

I know I'm not beautiful, and I really work hard trying to look as nice as I can, and he knows about how hard I judge myself, and how I have depression, and yet he can say that right infront of my face. And it just had to be about Britney. He knows how I feel about that, and yet he still did it.

Is it right to be mad about this? Because I'm really fucking upset right now.

Anyways, after school he came up and stood with me like normal, he acted like normal, like he didn't notice how upset I was. Acting like he never said that to me, but I was fucking pissed off. I didn't even look at him. I really didnt want him to hug me, or anything. I was really just... off. I didn't want him pretending everything was alright. I wanted him to look me right in the face and tell me that he really didn't mean it, and that he really does love me. I don't wan't some text message "I love you I'm sorry". That's just not good enough anymore.

I'm sick of being that girl who everyone tells her she's pretty, and deep down inside they're laughing because they're thinking about how ugly I am. It's not nice, and it's not the truth.

Someday I'll be pretty, But until then, I have pimples on my chin, a bad singing voice, a fat face, weird looking side burns, AWFUL EYEBROWS, one's I lvoe saying how pretty someone is right infront of me, anorexia and a extreme depression problem.

But I'm really sick of putting on makeup, and fancy clothes trying to look good, when I don't.
I'm sick of going to singing lessons, and not singing well.

I'm sick of being me.

February 2nd 2007

Friday, February 2, 2007
Was alright. I got to Chilli's a 6pm, only to find out that Drew wasn't going until 6:45.

So I sat there at Chilli's, and he got there at 6:20pm. Thank god.
Then we ate, and then Brandon came and we went to see our movie.
We saw "Epic Movie", and I didn't like it at all. It wasn't as funny as Scary Movie.

Durring the movie Andrew P came, and sat near me.

So after the movie I saw my mom, and I didn't want her to make me go home,so I kinda ran out of the movie theater towards the ice cream place.

But on the way there I hit myself with a door... in the face.
Then we got ice cream, and Andrew P payed for that.

Then we hung out outside, and talked. Then Andrew P ditched us.

Then it was all over and I went home.

Febuary 1st 2007

Thursday, February 1, 2007
Today was a pretty good day. I'm actually doing amazing on my Fcat. I have amazing scores from last year in Language.

I'm really proud of myself. The first school thing I've done good in. YAY ME.

Drew did something pretty cute today, and I liked it. He hugged me, and I asked why he did that, and he goes "I dont know. I just wanted a hugggggg." That pretty much made my life.

& thats it.